Advent Week 1: Waiting

Written By Keith M. Douds

“All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not dimmish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.” 

Romans 8:22-25 The Message (emphasis mine)


In moving into Advent, the Season of waiting in hope for the arrival of the Promised One, I invite those of us affiliated with the Long Beach Church Collective to pause and reflect upon Mary. What might we learn from this betrothed but unwed woman-child about the importance of waiting?

As accounted for in the Gospel of Luke, Mary is told by the Angel, Gabriel, that she would be with child - and not just any child but the Son of the Most High God! This encounter with the Divine, the Angelic, evokes a Holy Fear, a frightened reverence which starts with Mary’s shocked disbelief: “How can this be?!?”  But ends with a bold and courageous refrain of surrender: “May it be done unto me according to Thy Word!” Upon further reflection, what exactly is happening here? God’s coercion? The Holy Spirit forcing Himself upon an underaged adolescent? 

I wonder how often we respond prematurely, and even wrongly, to mitigate and disavow all manner of waiting, and the accompanying agitation, anxiety and fear? And there’s an implicit cost to not growing to tolerate doubt, uncertainty or even the holy mysteries that often come hand in hand with waiting. In fact, our entitlement, fast-pass wishes, and haste driven efficiencies can prevent spiritual maturity, development often only realized by exercising forbearance. Long Beach Church Collective friend, and honorary Long Beach Pastor, Rich Villodas, strongly exhorts that the posture of waiting on the Lord is an essential practice for the journey of faith. If waiting is almost entirely counter-cultural, Villodas emphasizes that much of our dysregulated impatience is de facto exposure of our insides - our personal fear and control-laden intolerance of inconvenience, inefficiency and/or uncertainty. Considering this, just how are we to lean into that those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength (Isaiah 40:31)? 

But let us recall the posture of Mary, the punctuation mark of this Advent reflection, and the inspiring outrageousness of her surrender. And while I recognize the severe limitations of a Hebrew woman-child’s autonomy and agency in the first century Roman Empire, more than ever this act of reverent yielding is deeply convicting. The capacity to surrender - to quiet the competing noise of personal agenda - is critical to waiting well. Scripture is clear that cultivating receptivity to God also means engaging inner transformation (e.g., Romans 12:2). The resulting discernment is what focuses our attentiveness to God’s will - the goal of waiting on the Lord.

I confess how much of my emotional, relational and financial security is based upon real and perceived notions of personal control. And, ironically, there is such a lack of godly freedom in that posture. Sometimes I rightly see these ridiculous psychic and spiritual yoga poses for what they are: unsustainable idolatrous practices. And at least in this moment, my refrain in waiting is: oh, to be like Mary!

“This is often the way God loves us: with gifts we thought we didn’t need, which transform us into people we don’t necessarily want to be. With our advanced degrees, armies, government programs, material comforts and self-fulfillment techniques, we assume that religion is about giving a little of our power in order to confirm to ourselves that we are indeed as self-sufficient as we claim.

Then this stranger comes to us, blesses us with a gift, and calls us to see ourselves as we are- empty handed recipients of a gracious God who, rather than leave us to our own devices, gave us a baby.” 

~ from “The God We Hardly Knew” by William Willimon

May we be willing to wait for God to arrive on God’s terms. Yes, be it done unto us according to Thy Will! Oh come, oh come Imanuel. Amen.

Keith M. Douds

Dr. Keith M. Douds is a licensed clinical psychologist with a bachelor’s degree in psychology and social relations from Harvard University, graduate studies in counseling and consulting psychology from the Harvard Graduate School of Education, and a master’s degree and a doctorate in clinical psychology from Biola University. He is the founder and director of Alliance Psychology Group in Long Beach, California. Douds has more than thirty years of outpatient and inpatient experiences in a range of mental health services involving families, couples, and people in vocational ministry. Taking vocational cues from Isaiah 58, Douds sees himself as a “holder of hope” engaged in “repairing the breaches and restoring the streets” in which he dwells. He has been married for 41 years and has two adult daughters.

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