A Conversation on Pastoral Care, Resilience, and the Gift of Being Known
Who cares for the people who spend so much of their lives caring for others?
At Long Beach Church Collective, we believe pastors and ministry leaders need more than resources to keep going. They need spaces where they can be honest, experience rest, build meaningful relationships, and remember that they are deeply loved by God—not because of what they do, but because of who they are.
This week, we're sitting down with Rob Fisher to talk about the heart behind our Resilience Initiative and the ways we're coming alongside local pastors and leaders through counseling, coaching, spiritual direction, retreats, and SoulCARE.
Rob brings both professional experience and a deeply personal understanding of the joys, challenges, and complexities of leadership. His story reminds us that caring for leaders isn't simply about helping them do ministry better. It's about caring for them as whole people.
We hope this conversation encourages you, whether you're serving in ministry yourself or walking alongside someone who is.
Getting to Know Rob
Rob, tell us a little about yourself and your family. What would you want people to know beyond your work?
I was born and raised in SoCal. I’m the middle of three boys. I spent most of my childhood and adolescence on baseball diamonds, soccer fields, and running trails.
My wife and I started dating in high school (God began wooing me through her and her family), got married a year after college, and spent our first six years of marriage in North Carolina before returning to SoCal (kicking and screaming).
We have three “kids” (all adults now) … a son and two daughters (both of whom currently reside in Oregon).
I can’t think of two experiences that have brought me as much joy, and led to as much learning, as marriage and parenting … both of which continue to foster delight, humility, and faith.
I care deeply for others, am loyal (often to a fault), am growing in my ability to say “no,” and desire to live more freely and fully into and out of my belovedness.
What are a couple of experiences that shaped the way you care for people?
The love and acceptance I experienced as a junior transfer student at Westmont College. The ways my first few bosses (David George, Jim Hopkins, and Tim Conder) modeled kindness, compassion, curiosity, and grace.
The care offered to me by my first spiritual directors (Ty Saltzgiver and Fil Anderson). The lavish generosity of an older man who served as a volunteer and later became a father figure.
And my/our own heartbreak, suffering, and loss … and the love demonstrated by those who surrounded me/us in and through those disorienting times.
The Heart Behind Caring for Leaders
When did caring for pastors and leaders become personal for you?
It began to take shape during my introduction to vocational ministry, while I was serving as a member of a local church staff.
During my first week, I was called into a meeting with three of the pastors and told that the founding pastor, who had led the church for all of its 30 years, had had an affair. His daughter was a friend and part of our high school volunteer team, and our team was heading out of town for a staff retreat that weekend. She was devastated, as were her family and friends, and our church community.
It deepened during my time within Fuller’s MFT program as I was exposed to the hearts, minds, and stories of my professors; invited to think deeply about narratives, systems, and the experiences that form and shape them (and us).
It expanded throughout my 17 years as a staff member of the Center for Individual and Family Therapy as I walked alongside leaders, hearing and holding the realities of their lives and callings; wondering how we might better love, welcome, honor, accept, and serve those who so often extend those experiences to others.
It became deeply personal and the need abundantly clear through my own season of leadership; navigating organizational complexities, legal realities, rising fear and uncertainty (a global pandemic, political division, displays of racism, and the dehumanizing of others) and, ultimately, my removal from that role and the thoughts, feelings, and experiences that resulted.
And it remains a focus as I sit with my own experiences as well as those of my friends and colleagues, shared with me personally and through the alarming data, statistics, and research available to us.
What were you seeing in pastors that made you realize we needed something more intentional around pastoral health and resilience?
It’s not just what I saw in others, but also that which I saw and experienced within myself.
Weariness. Exhaustion. A feeling or belief that it was “up to me” to heal, fix, solve, relieve, rescue, convince, or make things right … and the corresponding weight.
A longing to give and a struggle to receive (and/or fear of receiving).
Holding tightly, fist clenched, rather than open-handedly, a posture of openness (to both receiving and letting go/giving away).
Loneliness and isolation rooted in a lack of community and/or few safe spaces (and people).
Deep love and care for God and others, and a desire to participate in the expansion of God’s kingdom on earth as it is in heaven, while also wrestling with issues related to role, responsibilities, and identity.
Ultimately, a knowledge of God’s love and our belovedness without the lived experience (and security, freedom, and grace) of those realities.
The Resilience Initiative: Creating Space for Care
The Resilience Initiative has taken a lot of different forms—counseling, coaching, retreats, spiritual direction, SoulCARE. What’s the common thread running through all of it?
We want to help create safe spaces where leaders can be seen and known. Where they can share their stories. Let their guard down. Acknowledge, own, and accept their humanity. Receive, without condition or expectation. Slow down. Rest. And connect more deeply with God, themselves, and others.
When you ask pastors how they’re really doing, what are you hearing?
Much depends on the season and circumstances they’re in, as well as their willingness to name what is (rather than what they wish were true).
And two things are often true.
They are worn out, beat up, lonely, isolated, defended, and hurting … longing for someone to ask how they’re doing, listen lovingly, and honor their experience.
And they are committed to their calling; hopeful that somehow, some way, they can help lead God’s Church into deeper relationship with, and greater freedom in, Christ.
What kinds of support do our resilience grants make possible for pastors?
Our grants provide local pastors with opportunities to pursue therapy, spiritual direction, coaching, and rest. To receive one-on-one care for their hearts, minds, souls, and relationships.
And places to process the complexities of their roles, the questions they wrestle with (and wonder about), and their hopes, dreams, and longings.
Retreats, Relationships, and the Gift of Rest
The Collective has hosted five retreats for pastors/spouses. What were they for?
Within our work, we’ve learned that there is no “one size fits all” approach to caring, supporting, encouraging, and resourcing leaders.
Some leaders respond quickly to the offer of a grant. Others do not. For some, our grants provide them with what they want and need. For others, their desires and/or felt needs are met through other means.
We observed this. But some wise friends taught and showed us this … Joel Silva, Juancarlos Arevalo, Rudy and Tanya Paniagua, Jacqui Mack-Harris, Kenneth Mulkey, and Sheridan and Larleslie McDaniel.
They recommended we offer all-expenses-paid weekend retreats for pastors and their spouses. And they took the lead … inviting, hosting, facilitating, and improving.
Of our five retreats, three have been for Spanish-speaking pastors and two have been for Black and African-American pastors.
These leaders and their spouses have felt seen, known, valued, appreciated, loved, and honored. And the relationships they’ve formed, connections they’ve made, and resources they’ve received have been priceless.
What have you learned from the Psalms Retreat that has surprised you—or changed the way you think about caring for pastors?
This hasn’t been a surprise, but it’s worth mentioning. The team that facilitates the retreats is incredible. Beth, Keith, Cory, Brandon, Steven … kind, thoughtful, safe, authentic, wise.
And perhaps this hasn’t surprised me either, but it has changed the way I (and we) think about caring for leaders.
The Psalms are our example. Our guide for being honest, real, bold, and courageous; with ourselves and with God. Through every season.
Confession. Praise and thanksgiving. Lament. Hope and trust.
All of that is worship.
The Psalms give us permission to be human. To name our disappointment. Our pain. Our anger. Our longing. Our joy. Our hope.
And not only that, they show us that God welcomes and invites all of who we are. The broken and the beautiful.
A space to sit with the words and experiences of those who have gone before us … as well as the real, raw material of our own lives … in beauty, with others, held in love, is transformational.
SoulCARE: An Invitation to Receive
For someone hearing about it for the first time, what is SoulCARE?
SoulCARE is a nine-month encounter with, and experience of, the lavish love of God.
If that’s not enough to pique your interest … it’s an invitation to deeper relationship with God, ourselves, and others.
We offer it within the context of a cohort, welcoming 25 local leaders to companion one another through nine monthly in-person retreats, accompanied by a team of spiritual directors and a resident musician.
We meet in beautiful spaces, move at a slower pace, and lean into our images and identities … of God and ourselves.
We host one cohort each year. And thanks to some incredibly generous people, churches, foundations, and partners, we’re able to offer it free of charge.
What a gift!
What first drew you to SoulCARE?
Pain, loss, and longing … and a desire to proactively, preventatively care for leaders.
After I was removed from my leadership role … and following some soul-searching, reflection, and wonder … I reached out to a friend (Dave Gundlach) who connected me with the founder of SoulCARE (and WellSpring, the nonprofit that, for the past 19 years, has provided SoulCARE in Northern CA), Patti Pierce.
I was drawn to Patti’s heart … warm, welcoming, nonjudgmental, and kind. And I was taken by her story and the ways she helped provide language for my own.
In the end, though, what allured me most was the opportunity to receive, without any expectation to lead, give back, or carry.
I could lay my burdens down.
Resting. Receiving. Listening. Being loved.
That’s how the Lord began opening me up to the experience.
And later, as Eric and I continued to wonder how best to care for our local leaders, we began to realize that SoulCARE might be the missing piece, the complementary strategy or offering to our resilience grants; providing a deeply intentional, well-researched, integrated, whole-person, experiential offering rooted in God’s love and relational wiring.
What does a leader actually experience during the nine-month journey?
Beautiful surroundings. Delicious food. Spaciousness (to slow down, rest, and reflect). Community. Intentional care. And love.
Each retreat has four main components: invitational teaching, silent reflection, a shared meal, and group direction.
We engage different themes and offer an invitation to particular practices each month in our efforts to deepen and sustain our “with God” lives.
And in between retreats, each participant meets one-on-one with their small group leader for spiritual direction.
Closing: Caring for Those Who Care for Our City
Rob's reflections remind us of something we believe deeply at Long Beach Church Collective: pastors and leaders are people first. They carry hopes, burdens, questions, and stories of their own. And they deserve the same compassion, encouragement, and care they so generously extend to others.
Through the Resilience Initiative, retreats, and SoulCARE, our desire is to create spaces where leaders don't have to perform, produce, or carry everything on their own. Spaces where they can simply be present, receive, and experience God's love in community.
We're grateful for Rob's vulnerability, wisdom, and heart for the leaders of our city. His story is a beautiful reminder that resilience isn't just about finding the strength to keep going. Sometimes it's about learning to slow down, open our hands, and allow ourselves to be cared for.
To the pastors and ministry leaders of Long Beach: You are seen. You are valued. And you don't have to do this alone.